My parents used to always tell me that us kids were number one. And if I asked her enough times for an answer, Mum would tell me she loved us more than Dad. It was immensely comforting even though I could hardly believe my ears and I didn't really know how much that meant. How much did Mum love Dad? Well incredibly so... they have been together 30 years next year and it seems like their love never fades even amongst snappy remarks or short fuses over the other's 'tone' in their voice.
I thought this was sweet and still do, but I read an interview with Gai Waterhouse (Australia's leading thoroughbred trainer) for a Mothers Day special in the paper and she was asked what her secret is for her 40 year marriage...
"I think because my husband is no. 1, as much as I adore [the children]. I know that's a shock but I know I'm not going to have my kids forever; they are going to find a time when they are going to do their own thing and have their own relationships and friends and I don't want to be one of those mothers who is swinging on their tails. I want to look after my husband so when he gets home he has the girlfriend, not the cranky old wife... I really make him my number one concern and he lets me run on a very loose rein; he lets me have the freedom".
I really like this. And I think if he were interviewed as well, he would share similar opinions otherwise she wouldn't feel as though her effort to him was justified.
Be each other's number ones.